I’m not great at yoga

After I had covid, it took me a long time to get better. A long time. Some of you may have experienced something similar.

For me, besides the physical exhaustion, it was also a struggle for breath support when exerting myself.

Enter yoga.

I wanted to regain some endurance, learn some deep breathing techniques to regain my singing voice, increase my balance and flexibility - oh, lots of things.
I also wanted to put myself in the position of a newbie learner, so I can experience what my new students do when they come to the piano for the first time.

My first hot yoga class was in the summer of 2021. I entered the hot yoga space with no expectations, no judgement, just willing to be a learner and to suck at yoga. Fortunately for me, that IS the vibe that Yogi Devon puts out - so I felt free to make mistakes, to dust myself off when I lost my balance, and to simply lie on the mat as needed so I wouldn’t pass out in the 107 degree room.

I celebrated each little progress I made. Hey, I held that balance pose a little longer today than I ever have! Hey, that dancer pose? I did it! It was messy, but I did it!

I don’t know when my mind started changing, but after a year or two of classes, I mentally started struggling with “shoulds.”

• You should be thinner/more toned/more flexible by now

• You should be able to get from 3-legged down dog to warrior 1 without having to drop to a knee to get your foot between your hands in the right spot by now

• After all this time YOU SHOULD BE BETTER AT YOGA THAN YOU ARE.

Whoa, there. Rein it in.

Remember when yoga was new, and fun, and it was okay to suck at something as long as I was learning and growing?

(You: Remember when piano was new and fun, and it was okay to fail, as long as you were learning and growing?)

Let’s analyze. For me - musician life gets busy. Really busy. Rehearsals and theatre pits and concerts take up evening space. Teaching takes up daytime space. Add in family and faith and friendship responsibilities to the calendar and the question becomes: Have I actually been getting myself into the studio and being faithful in my practice?

The answer: no.

Then how do I expect to progress?

Answer: much more slowly.

Does that make me a bad yogi or a bad person?
No. No, it doesn’t. It just means I am not consistent enough in my practice that I am not seeing change in my practice.

When I acknowledge that, it takes the pressure of “should” away. My yoga practice is exactly where it is right now because of the effort I have put into it. I am the only person who can change it.

So we have to find a balance, don’t we? The non-judgment part is so crucial for us to make progress, because we feel safe to explore, learn and grow without the fear of failure or being criticized. Taking risks. Encouraging creativity and innovation.

Yet we also have to acknowledge that making progress also requires dedication and time. Without consistency and effort, our advancement may slow or stall.

In piano, I tell a student they need more BOB time.
Butt On Bench.

For yoga - I imagine Devon would say to me “you’re exactly where you need to be. Take it as it comes. Let your practice unfold.”

Breathe in, breathe out. And get your butt on the yoga mat.

I just reserved a spot in the yoga room tonight for my butt and my mat.

Here’s to non-judgement AND developing consistency. Wish me luck, and the same to you.